Coffeeshop Forgiveness
Aug. 4 2006
Thoughts from a random guy applying Humble Orthodoxy.
The coffeeshop we’re in has a name I can’t pronounce. The sign on the door says “Fair Trade Certified” and the hip couches say “college study spot.” The air smells like the bags of coffee beans stacked on the back shelf and textbooks littering the tables.
I’m here with Drew and Tim, two guys from my church. We get together every so often to see what’s going on with each other, help each other apply truth to our lives, and drink coffee. I’m mostly just here for the coffee.
We find a big, hip, orange couch and take a seat as Tim opens up and begins sharing his week and humbly asking for input from us. I love the way he’s so open, honest, and direct. He shares a recent situation at work causing him frustration. Drew, who’s great at asking good questions, tries to help Tim discern why there’s so much conflict in the situation.
Meanwhile, I realize I’ve accidentally poured about a pound of cinnamon into my iced coffee and I stir it furiously as we talk, hoping that it will dissolve. It doesn’t.
“Wait,” I say, “Haven’t you had problems with this person in the past?”
Tim looks at the floor for a second. Then nods.
The situation was one where Tim had been offended by his difficult co-worker Chris but had forgiven him. Drew points out that it seems like Tim is just looking for problems with Chris and waiting to point out mistakes.
As I watch Tim chew on the words I see a reflection of myself. That’s my own tendency: to hold grudges, to forgive only unwillingly, to point out mistakes in a person I’m angry at. Tim and I need the same thing: the gospel.
“Think about it this way,” I say “What if God treated you the same way you’re treating Chris? What if every time you sinned He replayed it over and over in His mind and just sat there waiting for you to mess up again? That’s crazy. God doesn’t treat us like that.
“We’ve both been forgiven much. We should be able to extend that forgiveness to others. Scripture says something like, ‘forgive as God forgave you’ (Eph 4:32 ESV). We’ve got to let the gospel change the way we think. We should be able to extend forgiveness regardless of the situation, regardless of whether the person has said they’re sorry.”
I’m talking to Tim, but I’m also talking to myself. Sometimes the truth of the gospel gets stuck in my head and doesn’t make its way into my heart. Forgiving difficult people is just another area where we need the gospel’s power to transform our thinking and renew our minds.
Tim sits quietly for a moment. But when he speaks he doesn’t blame the situation; doesn’t blame Chris for being a difficult person. He repeats the gospel to himself and asks for help with the situation. I smile, repeating the words silently to myself. And for a second I don’t taste the extra pound of cinnamon in my coffee.